Why does my child talk back? why is he so rude? is he out to get me?
Why does my child constantly tease their sister?
Why does my child fail to follow directions?
Why does my child frequently have complete meltdowns?
"Why does my child do that"? is a time-honored question and over the years as a Teacher, Nanny, and Parent Consultant I have observed all sorts of mischief and monkey business. I'm talkin tantrums and shenanigans that would exasperate the pants off any parent! The answer is this:
Behaviour is need driven.
Parents must understand what underlying need is causing the behaviour to surface. Just like a baby cries to communicate needs to its mother, undesirable behaviour is a form of communication, a message. Decoding that message is the key to understanding why children behave the way they do.
Children are different. Even identical twins are different. They have different temperaments and therefore different needs.
We must consider the situation from the child’s perspective in order to see what need they are trying to meet.
When you start to view behaviour this way you will soon discover your child’s true nature, their motives and their point of view. Their behaviour will start to make sense, and you will be able to create an environment that supports the development of their character. An environment where they feel valuable and worthwhile, just because they exist. You will gain insight into how to teach your child in a way that works for them, and help to develop their abilities true to their unique nature. The biggest mistake parents make is to send children the message that they must behave in a certain way, all the time, to be loved and valuable.
Photo Credit: http://www.liveintentionally.org